I Am A Father
by Reyella
Summary: Vader's thoughts after finding about Luke's existence.


Vader couldn't believe it. It was impossible. It couldn't be true!

The name of the pilot that destroyed the Death Star was...

 _Luke_ Skywalker

That name swam through his thoughts. He had a son! He had a child! His child was alive!

 _"Ani, I'm pregnant"._

 _"That's... That's wonderful !"_

He was a father. A father to a rebel. He, the infamous Darth Vader, was a father to a rebel.

The rebel that blew up the Death Star.

Vader smiled underneath the mask, pride flooding him. He beamed and looked at the holo the Bounty Hunter had provided him.

Sun bleached blonde hair and electric blue eyes. He had tanned skin and a slight frame.

A dimple on his chin with his mother's nose.

 _"He has my hair and eyes and my dimple. He may have his mother's height and nose, but he looks so much like I did when I was his age"._

His child was all grown up. He had missed everything!

"First _words, first steps, I missed it all!"_ _I never even held him in my arms after he was born. I never once cooed to him._ _I never rocked him to sleep when I should have._

His name was Luke. It had been one of the names Padme had chosen if they were having a boy.

 _Luke... such a sweet name..._ _"I should have known a mother's institution was better to my Jedi abilities"._

 _"It's a boy"._

 _"I should have been there for him. I shouldn't have listened to Palpatine. I should have gone with Padme. We could have raised Luke happily on Naboo. Luke would have been spoilt by Padme. I would have taught Luke everything. I could have been a father."_

 _"Stars... what does he even know of me? What does he know of his own father."_

 _"Obi Wan, I'm grateful that you protected him but you could have at least told him the truth!"_

"If I had taken Luke to Palpatine if I found him when he was younger, Palpatine would have corrupted Luke. My Luke. He would have turned Luke against me and used him as a replacement."

He shuddered at the thought of Luke with evil topaz eyes and and a red lightsaber held in his hand, ready to strike. Father and son would have to duel to death because of Palpatine.

He turned to reality. Luke was with the rebels fighting on the other side of war. He probably did not know the truth of his father. He doubted Luke even gave a drop of suspicion the man behind the mask was Anakin Skywalker.

At the same time he felt fear. He was afraid. Afraid that something happening to Luke.

Luke was probably on the other side of the galaxy and there was a chance of something happening to him without his father's knowledge. Luke could die and his father would never know.

Of course, there was their bond as father and son but Obi Wan had shielded Luke's mind and the only way to unshield it was with doing it with Luke face to face.

He was aware that he was becoming a little... overprotective? Yes, that was the word. Didn't all parents feel that for their offsprings?

Maybe they don't have offsprings with Skywalker genes. He knew what Skywalker genes involved as he was a Skywalker himself. Padme had been the rasional and most mature one in the family.

Vader would give anything to have his child safe with him. He would be the father that he should have been like from the very beginning. He would try to make up for all those years lost.

Would Luke forgive him? If he had inherited Padme's personality then he would. But if he had inherited Anakin's personality?

He won't if it was the later. He hoped Luke would forgive him. How could his boy do it? He had terrorized the galaxy, hurt many.

He didn't even know his son. Father and son were mere strangers to each other. Parents should know their children. He should know every detail about Luke. He didn't even know how his son grew up. Where was he raised? Who raised him?

He would receive the anwers one day, when he had his boy with him. He pictured Luke as a toddler. A tow haired child with chubby cheeks and innocent blue eyes. The imaginary Luke was giggling and squealing in delight as younger Vader scooped him into his arms.

 _"Daddy"! Luke squealed._

Vader felt an ache of longing deep in his heart. He wished that wasn't just a mere imagination but a memory. A memory of Luke's childhood.

Although he barely knew anything about Luke, he knew that he and Luke shared the love for flying. When he found Luke, he would probably take Luke out for a flight just them as father and son. He had never gotten to spend anytime with Luke (excluding the Death Star).

Vader sighed and opened a drawer. It was in that drawer that he had kept his wife's photos and the japor snippet he had made for her when he had been only a boy.

He held the delicate japor snippet in his hand, lovingly.

 _His first gift to her._

She had worn it every day since they had been married in Varykino. He had made it for her and she had loved the gift more than her much more stylish jewellery.

Vader put it back into the drawer. It hurt to think about her. She had been everything to him. Luke is the only one he had left.

He stood up and stood in front of a room. He had never set foot in it. He keyed the password in and he entered the room. He felt a few tears form in his eyes.

This was the room he had made for his child all those years ago. He had made it in hope that Luke was still there before giving into the despair that he was not.

 _Luke_ _was alive!_

He had been filled with joy from the day he had heard the word spoken from Boba Fett. He had been angry that he had been lied to by Palpatine and that he had been denied to raise Luke.

He passed by the crib and the play area. He had brought in lots of toys and clothes both for a baby boy and a baby girl. He hadn't known what was the gender of the baby.

He ran his hand tenderly on the railing of the crib for a while, lost in his thoughts before sinking in the rocking chair.

He looked around the nursery and sighed. This should have been Luke's room. He hadn't come into this nursery for years, believing Luke was gone.

 _He's still alive._

 _He_ _would find him._

 _He_ _would be a father._

 **Author's note**

 ** _Please_** ** _tell me of what you think of this fanfiction. Just like always, tell me your opinions of this stor_ _y._**


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